Caramba!-Wordography

51 MTV

(Airey, Gillan, Glover, Morse, Paice)
From the Deep Purple album Rapture of the Deep

MTV - with the sound off - was my moving wallpaper at Michael Bradford's studio in Los Angeles. It dawned on me that the script was the same for every clip they showed. The same scenario in every video - gestures, girls, bling, mansions, wads of cash, cars, sneers, me rich, look at me, respect me for being a genius or I will climb through this camera lens and kill you. Most amusing it was and cheered me up no end on a daily basis.

Whilst toying with this as a theme for one of our new songs I floated across the yawning gap that separates the banal region of MTV from the fossil zone of Classic Rock Radio.

The second verse refers to the brilliant pirate radio stations - London and Caroline particularly - and DJ's like Kenny Everett and Dave Cash along with others that I couldn't fit in. In a different age they rocked the establishment and so of course they were destroyed. We ended up with the BBC's version of what it thought was good for us - Radio One, oh dear. Well that was that and along came 'The Playlist'.

Music has been formatted ever since. A good friend of mine is the director of music for a major independent radio station. Whilst visiting him last year he invited me to pick an hour on a day of my choice a month hence. When I did so he was able to tell me exactly what song would be playing at the time; now that's what I call planned spontaneity.

'…Welcome to WSNAW in the Rocking town of Irony, Upstate New York!!! You are listening to Sally 'I kin fart through my nose' Cohen. Now welcome to you Iyen Gillian from Deep Puuuuurple!!!! Iyen it's great to have you on the show and you too Roger Grover on the lead guitaaaaaaar!!!! Hey guys you had that biiiig hit record 'Smokey Water' all those years ago - tell us all about it.'

Ten minutes later - after explaining all about our new record 'Bananas' - we are dismissed with a request to record twenty five 'station ID's'. Hi this is Ian Gillan and you are listening to a pile of crap on WSNAW with Silicone Sally - that sort of thing. As we leave the studio we hear….Deep Purple Wow, I didn't know they were still going; anyway here is Smokey Waaaaaaaterrrr!!! Yeah!! Dan dan dan…

MTV

(Airey, Gillan, Glover, Morse, Paice)

I was driving through the night
Into an endless tunnel of fog
When it dawned on me something was wrong
I was in a trance, hypnotised
Bored beyond belief
I was listening to the same old song
I know every lick, every word
Every nuance
I'm on first name terms with the crew
But I'd better get used to this poop du jour
Sure as hell they won't play anything new

Oh yes I love you really
Classic Rock Radio
Oh my dear it's time for bed
Time for you to go
Everyone is asleep

The pirates took to water 'n' stole the charts
But sadly that didn't go down well with those upstairs
Who require loyalty
The establishment considered
That the uncontrolled appreciation of music
Was a danger to royalty
The mighty empire roared
As Cash 'n' Everett on the high seas
Looked like they'd get blown out of the water
They did of course eventually come ashore
As meek as mice or to be more accurate
As lambs to the slaughter

Oh yes I love you really
I stand to attention
Oh Fanny, I love you dearly
Something else I should mention
You sweet thing?

Let's not talk about MTV
I don't even want to start
I want to take a look at Classic Rock Radio
We're talking about the state of the art

Mr Grover 'n' Mr Gillian
You musta made a million
The night that Frank Zappa caught on fire
Could you tell us all about it
Keep it short and use my version
Or everyone out there'll think I'm a liar
We can speak about bananas for one second
Just because I understand
You have to get them off your chest
But in the meantime while your talking
Could you do some more of these here IDs
And then this station might maintain some interest

Oh yes I love you dearly
But why do you exist?
Oh yes I love you really
Something I missed?

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