DF 47 - Aristotle's New Year
I am having a brief spell at home with friends and family, enjoying different normalities to the wacky routine of life on the road.
Yesterday in the forest I met up with an old pal, he's a chimpanzee called Aristotle. I don't know if any of you read the news recently about humans being pitted against chimps in tests of memory and mathematical skill, where the humans rated 45% and the chimps rated 80%, but Aristotle and his friends on the council were quite disturbed by the whole thing.
He said 'there was uproar at Treetops last Wednesday when Darren - he's a progressive evolutionist - blurted out the claim, ' this news proves the theory that chimps are descended from humans.'
They all went bananas; the vicar came over and bit him on the leg then screamed over and over until the racket subsided. Don't you see, you foolish thing, that these ripples and surges in history are nothing more than the gurgles of a drowning monkey gasping for air, weighed down by - but reluctant to release - his accumulations and encumbrances; figuratively speaking of course.
God created us all in his image and to suggest that we are descended from humans is an intolerable blasphemy. You, young feller-me-lad, are banished from this parliament for three moons or until you come to your senses, whichever being the latter in this cruel ironic world.'
I hope you had a good year and may 2008 be even more terrific1.
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